Oh, The Pain and Agony

The only thing that I have really been able to think about today is pain.  Yeah.  I know, what a fun thing to think about, right?  Well, I wish I were only thinking about it.

You see, I have this pain right smack dab in the middle of my back, between my shoulder blades, that comes and goes. Last night, while sleeping, I woke up and felt as though someone was stabbing me in the back.  No, I mean with a knife or hammer or something horrible.  So, today the pain has been around and been a very dominant part of my wonderful day.

This pain has a way to keep me very aware of my limits in mobility.  One wrong or quick turn of the head or a twist of the back the wrong way and this blinding flash of pain courses through my body.  I actually see lights, you know?  It’s that kind of pain.

Once I reach that limit, it doesn’t take me long to stop what I’m doing and quickly straighten up to get some relief from the sharp pain.  Then I only have to deal with the constant steady pain, which feels good right after the other.  Something happens though and I soon find myself back at that threshold and starting the process all over.

When the dull worsens I change positions and this might last for a while.  Yet it’s not long before the pain worsens again, and again another shift.  Changing positions though, often brings on the blinding pain.   I endure just to relieve the dull.

I can try to not think about it.  I can write.  I can read.  I can watch T.V., but the pain is more than these.  Finally, when the dull pain leaves, when the sharp pains are no more, I forget just how painful that time was.  I forget how blinding it is.  Thank goodness, I just don’t remember that pain.

“OK, Scott.  We allllll know what pain is,” I hear you say.  Well, let me tell you something you do know

Life.  Life is full of pain.  Right?  I mean, we have all hurt and we have all been hurt.  We know that life has it’s share of pain.

These pains of life come and go as well.  Often when we forgive, we still don’t really forget.  We still experience a little bit of that dull pain, it may just not be noticeable.

If we don’t forgive or maybe we don’t apologize, we try all sorts of “things” to take our minds off the pain, to forget it.  At times we may even feel like we have succeeded.  I think the truth is that that pain, though very dull, is always there.

One wrong move and it can again become blinding.  When we see an old friend the pain may worsen.  When we visit our old stomping grounds, we may visit a painful memory reliving as if we were there once again.

I’ve yet to figure out how to completely remove this pain.  There is no pill or shot that can take these pains from us.  I do know someone who has figured it out.  It will take some time, but the pain will go away.

He has promised me that if I do what he says, in the near future the pain will go away.  It will be gone, forever.  Never to return again.  No one around me will hurt.  The ones I’ve hurt will no longer have pain.  It’s a special place that I sure hope to visit one day.

Won’t it be wonderful there?

Because of HIM

SC