Summary of Week Ending 1/31/09

photo by Gaetan Lee

To sum up this week I think I can use two words or three if and is a word.  Distance and Pain.  I’ve definitely had more issues this week than just those, but these seem to be most prevalent.

Distance

I have felt a distance from self and also a distance from God.  Neither of which have I enjoyed.  I’ve been trying to figure out, with God’s help, why the distant feeling is present.

“What has changed?”, I’ve asked God and myself.

The “BIG” reason that keeps popping in my head is this thing we call a television.  Instead of having my nose stuck in a book, The Book, where it should be, I’ve had it stuck more in the TV.  Instead of reading the uplifting words of writers like Lucado, Yancey, and Warren, I’ve been watching shows about 24 hours, a Lost people, Grey people, and also a lot of news (which is more depressing that any of the shows I’ve watched).

Instead of trying to figure out how to walk like Jesus, I’ve been trying to figure out how the Lost are going to be found.  How Jack is going to save the world.  What drama is going to play out in the life of Grey.  Watching the news hoping for some good.

“I want that closeness again God,” I prayed almost every night.

In reply, I think, over the last couple of days, I have woken up early.  I used to wake up early (5am) and enjoyed my reading time, my quiet time, my study time, my RSS time.  I woke up with God and began the day as I should have.  The week or so before, I would get up just in time to get ready and head out the door for work.  Rushed.  Lonely.  Stressed.  So, I think (and I may be stretching it) maybe God has said OK.  Let’s see how grateful you are when you get up early.

Now, to be fair, I didn’t catch this until just before writing this post.  I hated getting up the last two mornings before the sun came up.  I didn’t know what to do, or had I just forgotten?  This morning it dawned on me that getting up early was part of what kept me close to God in the past.  Now, it’s my responsibility to use it as God intended.

Pain

See Distance.

Also add to that pain, the physical pain I’ve endured this week.  Quite possibly another reason for the distance.  I just didn’t use my downtime very wisely.

It was a week of “Poor Me,” instead of “Thank You God!”  “Woe is me,” not “Woe to me.”

The pain of a passing family member.  Though it was indeed painful, I did learn a lot from this pain.

Now, I look out my window and see the sun is starting to rise.  A new day is dawning.  I’ve got a lot of distance to cover and I’m sure some pain to endure.

Because of HIM

SC