Rehab Reflections: The Final Entry – What A Day

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For details on what Rehab Reflections is about, please refer to the previous posts of the series:

Well I hate that I didn’t write more entries while I was “cleaning” up. But, I can’t (and really don’t want) to do anything about it now. That would require going back and I’m just not gonna do that for you or me.

This is the last entry and again, it’s lengthy. More so than the last. I’m not going to break it up into sections as it might lose some of it’s emotion and feeling. Names have been changed to protect, well, the person’s privacy.

On that note, I’ll not make it longer by continuing to ramble. Enjoy the writing

March 9, 2008

: Image by tanakawho via Flickr

I awoke this morning, and the first thing that I did was pray to my God. I thanked him for another day. I asked him that if it was his will, to send someone my way that I may show them my faith ad help them out with their faith if I could. That’s not all I prayed for, other things like another day of sobriety, help me live just for today etc. etc., but these things are of no importance. The important one is that I asked My God to send someone to me so that I may help them.

Fast forward to 9:00 AM. Morning meditation time. Molly D and Phillip D were leaving today. We did our breathing exercise, we read from the “Just for Today”,

“Daily Reflections”, and “The Big Book.” Then Molly D was asked to sit in the ch

air and explain what she was going to do after treatment.

(Note 2/19/09 – On everyone’s last day, they were asked to sit in a chair in the middle of the group and answer a question posed by the counselor)

The first thing she said is “I don’t know if I can do this without crying,” and you could hear her voice cracking, holding back the tears, to which I said, “Don’t worry Molly. I cry everyday.” and she proceeded to tell her story, only finally crying at the end. Doesn’t matter what she said, you could feel her pain and worry.

A few days before I had visited the old chapel on the grounds. Went inside, sat alone in a pew, and gave God all that I could not handle. I just had so much going on.

Go back a couple of days. This same Molly made a comment in group, that she had so many emotions, she didn’t know how to get them out.

(NOTE 2/19/09 – I got lost too. Wish I would have been more specific with my days.)

Anyway, back to Molly. A couple of days ago I approached her after class and told her how I release my emotions. I told her that I walk from the group room, down to the center of the path, and just walk and cry. Let it all out. Who cares if someone sees you. She told me, “Thank you. I will try that.” and gave me a hug.

Today after group she came up to me and said “Thank you for sending me to the chapel. That really helped me a lot.” I don’t remember if I made another comment one day about visiting the chapel or not, either way, I helped her.

Another Molly, she was new, said something, but for the life of me I can’t remember what it was. But it ended with me saying “Come here. Let me show you something.”

We proceeded to the door and I opened it and said “You see that bell tower. He’s over there.” She thanked me and said she will give it a shot.

Another girl, Sally, approached me outside and said, “Make sure you give me your number before you leave. You seem to have the spiritual thing going on and maybe you can answer some of my questions for me or show me where to find them.” Of course I told her that I would.

The kids came down with Mom and Dad today. I haven’t seen them in almost two weeks. They were excited. Austin thought I was working there. In a sense, I guess I was in more than one way.

Dad brought some short term disability to me for me to give to the doctor. Something got brought up about vacation, and job and it was just too much. I was about to loose it right there. I got up and went to the bathroom, shed a tear, and asked God to help me not worry about all of this mess right now. I needed to just take care of me. I gave him another of my burdens. Immediately, the pain and worry went away.

Ask me if there is a God. I think you know what I would say. It was such a joy to see the kids. Ahhhh… What a day.

Because of HIM