Finally Saw It

Cover via Amazon

Since back before Christmas I have been deliberating with myself on whether or not to watch a movie that I have never seen.  I’ve heard a lot about it over the past several years.  I just couldn’t bring myself to watch it.

Why?  Well, before last year a reason could have been lack of belief or faith.

The movie of which I speak is based on a true story.  Back in my hypocritical days, I questioned that whole “true” bit.  I was struggling with the persons that the movie was based on.  I was so hard headed, refusing to give up.  I was “enjoying” my life being the hypocrite.  No one knew any different, well, almost no one.  It was easy being good for 3 hours a week, and everyone seemed OK with it.  Well, almost everyone.  So, I ditched the movie, and continued my struggles with God…alone.  Then, well, he sent me to rehab.

The movie is The Passion of the Christ.

After giving my life over to God completely, that’s when I really started contemplating getting the movie and watching it.  But I couldn’t, still.  This time the reason was guilt.  Straight up, in my face, guilt.  Guilt from the horrible things that I had done.

I had in my mind already the horrible things that I had done to Christ.  The beatings, the scourging, the spitting, the nailing, the cross.  I was and am the reason that he went through all of that.  In my mind I could look back and think, every time I took a drink, every time I denied the existence of God, of Christ, every time I committed a sin, I struck Jesus again.  I tore his skin, again, with the scourge.  I drove the nails in his hands and feet, all over again.  I pressed down on the crown of thorns until they dug into his skin.  I knew that.

Something was still telling me I needed, wanted, to watch it.  I did watch it.  I am so glad that I did.  I know it was a movie, but the imagery was about what I had envisioned in my mind.  This movie just drove it home.

The passion that was placed in the words of Jesus in the movie makes it all seem so much more real.  When I read the Bible I sometimes fall prey to reading the words “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me” as if Jesus just sort of spoke the words nonchalantly.   No! There was pain, suffering, passion in his words and in so many scenes the movie brings that passion out.

I’m extremely glad I watched it.  I’m extremely humbled after watching it. I’m extremely grateful for what HE did for me. I hope we never forget.

Because of HIM,

SC