I should be asleep right now. I really should. For those not in the know, I’ve been taking Lyrica for the past month. I don’t recommend you try it. I’ve really been beat down as of late and I’m not sure if it’s from the pain or from the Lyrica or from both. I will soon know if it’s the medicine.
I went back to the pain management Dr. today. We discussed how horrible I’ve been feeling and we are working on getting this mess out of my system. I’m going to be taking something else in 10 days, Zonegran. From what I can tell, it’s side effects are the same but we are hoping the crummy feelings I have throughout the day will be gone.
I am currently waiting on a referral to come through so that I can get in to see a neurosurgeon. I’m hoping for a few more tests and hopefully open up some more options to fix and not band aid my pain.
A thought occured to me as I was trying to sleep. It’s why I’m up at this time of night. As I lay still in my bed, I think God gave me a pat on the back as if to say everything is OK, or maybe he wrapped his comforting arms around me. Even though there is pain right now, I’ve suddenly become in awe of how all of this has worked out and you better believe God is in complete control.
I started looking back over the last year and a half or so and I realize how much I have grown, spiritually. My love for God has exploded, my faith in him has exploded, my desire to spread the great news has exploded. Taking all of that into consideration, I would say that up to this point, life after rehab has been awesome.
I’ve been going to the spiritual gym and working out my faith. I’ve talked to God, the same God that saved me from a life destined for destruction, more than and in a different way than I ever have in the past. I know what a relationship with God is. No, not perfect. Still got some wonders and mistakes, but I feel the relationship, and it is good and it is growing.
It’s a great thing too. Had I not been establishing such a great relationship with God and My Saviour, I shutter to think what position I would be in now as I deal with the pain, the depression, the mess.
I haven’t felt this bad, physically, in about a year and a half.
I have never felt this great spritually, ever! I’m just in awe at how God has planned this out and is working it out.
“I know your deeds, your love and faith, your service and perseverance, and that you are now doing more than you did at first” – Revelation 2:19
Because of HIM
SC
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11 Comments
Amen!
“Our mess becomes our message; our test becomes our testimony.” Not sure who first said that, but it’s playing out in your life.
Amazed is right!
karen’s last blog post..In the Right Place
I am praying for you, as well as wisdom for the doctors. I speak peace, comfort and deliverance over you. Be encouraged…you don’t stand alone.
@jmillerjr’s last blog post..Burnt Flesh: 6 days of life or death
Hang in there Scott. I really appreciate this update on your life. I am praying for you today!
Great post Scott, and your faithfulness through this is honoring to you and to God. I pray for you every time you come to mind and I know that God will make something magnificent out of this trial. If nothing else, you inspire me to continually work to be closer to Him.
God continues to bless you, and others through you,
@threedot
@jmillerjr – Thanks so much, especially for the prayers.
@karen – Thanks Karen. Hmm. Mess to messages. I should be able to write something about the size of a set of Encyclopedia’s.
@Steve Garufi – Thanks my friend. Again, always love prayers.
@threedot – I’m not sure I’m worthy to be an inspiration to anyone really. I do appreciate what you’ve said, it does mean a lot.
I love to here how people are drawn to the Lord. He knows what we need so He can shape our lives into the image of His Son. There are others also who He has designed benefits to from your pain; just as Jesus’ pain brought a benefit to you. You are joining Him on His Cross and you will have a better view of what He sees.
God Bless you and draw you ever closer
@jlcurtis3 Thanks for dropping by. There is just something about that phrase “joining Him on His Cross” that makes me shake my head, yet, we are told to take up our cross and follow him. Still, wow. You know?
Rom 6:5 – We have become united with Him in the likeness of His death, not the payment of sin; but rather the showing forth of God’s love in that while we were yet His enemies Christ died for us. Rom 5:8-10 – Paul is connecting us to the demonstration of God’s love on the cross. Our death (spiritually in Jesus Christ) is for another’s benefit and not so much for us. I say again, it is not for the payment of sin but to partner in the displaying of God’s love for His people