Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. –Matthew 7:7

I don’t have a lot of money.  It is the biggest reason going back to school isn’t happening.  I talk of faith in God and just doing what he says, and yet, here I am not in school. 

Just go.  Just take that step.  He’ll take care of you.  Fear keeps my feet firmly planted where they are. 

I’ve written a lot of want to’s. Want to go to school.  Want to continue my education.  Want to. Want to. Want to.  In fact, I’m sure some of you are probably about ready to choke me.  I would be.

Wasn’t long ago I even emailed Liberty University.  They let me know, in a way, that I need to get my transcripts together.  I started to do that.  Still want to go.

I still get emails from LU.  Emails wanting me to attend various webinars, or those “last chance” emails.  Last chance to sign up for such and such semester.  I don’t take them seriously. I’m still stuck here wanting to go. 

Even this past week I received an email from LU.  This one was pertaining to a webinar about the psychology program that they have.  Know what I did?  I put it on my calendar.  Yep.  Amazing huh?

See, the last few weeks it’s been just worrying me to no end.  Lot’s of thoughts about going back to school.  Lots.  Lots.  I was at wits end.  I had no money to even think about it.

I got that email about the webinar and something changed.  God used that moment, that second, that email to open the door wider than I’ve ever witnessed it as it pertains to what he wants me to do as far as school goes.  I responded to the email.

I responded about my fears.  My age.  My current degree.  My lack of knowing what the first step was and asked someone at LU to help me with my first step.  As I hit send I prayed.

Wasn’t 2 hours later I get a reply!  Thanking me and letting me know that my first step was the email.  The second thing I needed to do was send in my application to LU with the attached waived application fee!  God provided!

I’m not going back for Psychology though.  It’s not what He is wanting me to do.  Not going to major in counseling either, though I will minor in Christian counseling.  I plan to obtain my Bachelor of Science in Religion. 

I hear you skeptics, “Scott, you still have to have money to get your degree.”

Maybe.  But you know I’m not worried a bit about it.  There is no worry at all about this.  Nervousness? Yes.  Excitement? You better believe it.  It’s still a HUGE step.  But, I’m not in control of this at all.

After much praying.  After much thought.  After much debating.  This is the door that God has opened for me and I stepped through it.

What lies ahead?  What does the future hold?   I don’t know, but I’m so excited to find out. 

Because of HIM

SC

“I’m going to move forward with the crazy thought that I’ve had in my head of becoming a professional counselor.” – me

“Making action more of a necessity.” – me (in reference to fixing past mistakes)

“This may not be a milestone but on February 25th I am going to give up another vice of mine.  Smoking. ” – me

“I’m wanting to do it to fill a hunger.” – yep, me

Look at all those “things I’m gonna do” items up there that I have written about in the past. Many of them were items that I felt God was wanting me to do.  Do you know how many of them I have done?  I’ll give you a hint, it’s a round number.

When I wrote those things in my posts, I was as sure of doing those as one could be. Today as I look back and think about each one individually, I still have a “want” to do those things.  It’s just that the deep emotional ties to each seems to have dissipated.

Where does that tie go?  Were they really ideas set in motion by God, or some crazy notion that my mind had come up with on it’s own?  Is there a set amount of time that we have to act on ideas before they become reality?

When I wrote them, I wasn’t writing them to be self-righteous, or to seem bigger than I really am.  I wasn’t writing them to get an atta boy from you guys.  I felt very strongly about each one.  I felt a need to accomplish each one.

Am I lazy?  Am I being led astray by thoughts, not of God, but of man?  I’m confused, for sure.  It’s this area in my life that brings back memories of the old drunken me that would say I was going to do something, then not even think about it any more.

Needless to say, Iwill be praying for direction and clarity. I would like your prayers as well, as I go about questioning along my way.

Because of HIM

SC

photo by psd

One of the things I’ve noticed a lot of since I’ve given up the drinking habit is that my mind seems to be working a lot better.  Sometimes it’s working a little to well.  In fact, I think my mind is trying to be more clever than I am.  Annoying little bugger.

Have I mentioned what’s coming up on Wednesday?  I haven’t?  Oh, I think I have.  Wednesday Feb 25th, 2009, is going to be one of, if not the, most special days I’ve ever had and I am just stoked.

Just in CASE you haven’t heard, that day marks one year of sobriety for me.  I know.  Isn’t it just fabulous.  I’ve blogged so much about it in the past week, I’ll not bore you with it right now.  Obviously, though, Wednesday I’ll be blogging quite a bit about it.  Hope you’ll stop by for the party.

I’m also going to make that day the day I quit the other annoying habit I have.  Smoking.

So, yeah. Like I said, I’m stoked…but I’m also dreading losing another “friend” even though that friend is killing me.

So anyway.  My mind has been trying every excuse it can think of to talk?? me out of quitting.  Luckily for me, I’m not the drunk I was.

I’ve heard:

• “Man, you shouldn’t quit until after you decide what to do about your neck.  If you have surgery you just going to be nervous and gonna wanna smoke.”
• “You should only quit one thing at a time, remember?  You just quit drinking last year.”
• “You’re such a quitter.”
• “You can’t do it.  You don’t have the will power.”
• “HA! Quit smoking?  You’ve tried that before..loser.”
• “You’re almost out of cigarettes.  You should probably buy a carton and just smoke them all before Wednesday.”

So, that’s what’s been going through my mind.  I’ve figured out how to sneak in and hush it.  I simple say, “HUSH!”  I hope that’s not like talking to myself.  If so, I’m just going to have to deal with it for a little while.

Then I start thinking about the 1 year of sobriety and how I can do anything I put my mind to.

I also blow it off because I know I can do it with the help of God, family, and friends like you guys.  No one threatens me quite  like you guys or gal (Cricket) .

I guess I’m pretty excited because I can control my thoughts to some extent.  I still have times where I just can’t seem to get a grip on them.  Maybe someday I’ll be able to control all my thoughts.

Do you have control of your mind?  If so, what do you do to gain control of it?

To understand this post, you must have read I Missed An Opportunity first.

photo by dtcchc

You know, I just Love Him!  It never ceases to just absolutely amaze me how HE works in my life.  After all the “Woe is me” or “Man I blew it God, I’m sorry” thoughts I’ve had, he gives me this.

I received a phone call from the customer around 1:00 yesterday (Sunday) afternoon.  I dreaded answering the call, but it was my duty (or doody..haven’t decided yet).

As I picked up the phone and extended the normal “Hello”, I was expecting to hear the customer say, “You ready to come move those servers around,” and I gotta tell ya, I sooooo wasn’t ready.

Instead, here is the conversation that took place (the best I can remember it)

“Well,” he said “I’ve been doing the wrong thing while you were doing the right thing.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Well, I’ve already got all the equipment moved around.  While you were at church, I went ahead and moved them.”

“Don’t blow it Scott, Don’t blow it Scott” were the thoughts that were now rushing through my head.  “What do I say to that..” I asked myself.

“Man, you should have went to church.  I would rather you have done that and let me help you with the equipment move this afternoon.”

“Well, I know.  I should have gone I just didn’t.” He said in.

My memory of the remainder of the conversation evades me at this point.  It was probably all work related and not relative to this post.

Will he go next week?  I don’t know.  At least he knows that I will be going.  I think he sees how important God and my Church is to me.

I don’t think I blew it, this time . It was my duty not doody to answer that call.  I made it over that mountain.

Because of HIM

SC

Fishers of People

I’m a bit aggravated and embarrassed with myself.  I missed an opportunity to share the most important thing in my life, with someone else.

As most of you know, discovering God’s will for me is one of the “resolutions” that I have made for this year.  Achieving that resolution requires that I try daily to be more like Jesus than I was  the day before.  I may have already shared that with you as well.

It is an extremely difficult task that I have set before myself.  Trying to think and be like Jesus in every circumstance is requiring constant thought, preparedness, and patience.  I am no where near where I should be.

I understand that I am NOT going to be able to be that 100% of the time.  It’s an impossible goal to reach.  When I do something like what I’ve done today though, I really question everything I think I am.

So, I guess you probably want to hear what’s gotten us into this thought?  Well, not to worry.  I’m going to share it with you.

I was working on-site for a customer today.  I worked about 5 hours last night swapping out an old server for a new one.  Pretty big task as they only had one domain controller.  We wanted the new server to have the same name and IP address as the old one.  What am I doing?  Sorry, rambled a bit there.  Has absolutely nothing to do with the story.  The job went off great.

Anyway, back to the main point.  We were trying to decide when to physically move the old server and install the new.  We came up with Sunday as the best day to do it as they are not open on Sundays.

Now, what time?  The customer made the statement that Sunday morning is a better time for him.  He then proceeded to say, “You don’t….do you go to church on Sunday?”

It then starts.

I couldn’t see my expression, but I could feel it.  But it was a bit late to change it.  I’m sure it was a look of disgust or a look of “I’m sorry, but yeah…I do.” At the same time I was nodding my head.

“You do,” he said.  Not a question, but a statement.

“Yeah,”  I said,  “I have to.”

“Daddy jerk a knot on your head if you don’t?” he asked.

“Naw,” I said, “I just have to go.”

“Well, good,” he said.

That was it.  “I have to”???? really?  That’s the answer that I had?

Why did I tell him that I have to?  Why couldn’t I have said “Yep.  Going to church is a privilege that I have.  Plus it really makes God happy when I’m there.”

No sharing the good news? No telling him that God keeps me sober and if I turn from him I could go back?  No telling him that God is most important in my life?

Not an expression that Jesus would have had.  Not a single word that I said would have came from the mouth of Jesus had he been put in the same situation.

Now that I think about it, maybe I didn’t miss an opportunity after all.  Maybe I just plain blew it.

I hope I’ve learned something  from this.  I’m not going to beat myself up over it.  I think it’s the striving to be like Jesus that matters the most.

Have you missed any opportunities?  Maybe not “churchy” opportunities, but some that cause you to get aggravated with yourself?  Why do we do that?

Because of HIM

SC

There is an Update to this post.

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. - Romans 12:2

photo by TroyMason

Welt (southern slang for, well ex. “Well, I don’t know.”), just before the new year I posted every one of my 2 resolutions that I was making for this year.

1. Build my relationship with God.  Try to determine if everything I am doing is his will.  What is his will?….

I figured it out.

I have figured out something major about God’s Will for me.

I’m assuming you would like to know, right?

Well, hang on.  It’s so simple, I want to make you wait just a bit for it.  Maybe in the build up you can also determine what God’s will for your life is as well.  I will give you a bit of a hint.  I am fairly confident that his will for me is the same as it is for you.

I know, I know.  It hasn’t been that long since I started searching.  How can I make such a statement?  Well, for one, it’s my blog .

I’ve done a lot of praying.  A lot of soul searching.  A lot of reading.  I’ve read 2 books and several articles on the Internet before I made this shocking discovery.

God’s will for me can not be summed up in one word, one sentence, or one paragraph.  God’s will for me and you is a culmination of many things.

The most important one?  Strive to be more like Jesus daily.

When I first made the resolution, I must have been thinking that God’s will was something that a finger could be put on.  Like, “God’s will for me is to change my eye color,” or “God’s will for me is to join a cult and make Kool-Aid.” (no, not you Kool Aid)  Then, when I could put my finger on it, I could pursue it.

But it’s not that simple.  It’s so much more.

It’s more than having a good life.  It’s more than even becoming a counselor.  It’s more than anything I can put into words.  There are no words to describe it because those words do not exist yet.

It’s something that I have to search for daily.  It’s something new that I find daily.  It is something I have not yet seen.

It can be found in the books Genesis through Revelations.

Guess I drove that point into the ground.  Sorry.  As I have more on my discoveries, I will be posting them.

What do you think?  Am I way off?  Can it be summed up?

Because of HIM

SC

“What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him?”

-James 2:14 (NIV)

photo by stamina

 
HEY, WHERE YOU GOING? READ ON, Please.

I’ve put my goals on a temporary hold.  ”Why?” you ask.  

Well, it all began way back som…….

Preface

Nightly, daily, every time I pray, I always ask God to “use me as he will.”  I’m now a servant of His.  Since I started including this in my prayers, A couple of things have happened, without me doing anything but asking (which really causes me to have chills when I think about it, I mean, hair literally raising).

• I’ve began teaching a class at church to college age students.  This is truly a blessing for me.  And I was approached by one of my deacons to teach this class.  
• The Ever-Changing Thought was given to me/us by God.  Again, another blessing that I thank him for daily.

God said to me,”Ok…here ya go.  Try these for a while, make sure your comfortable.”

I feel both of these areas in my life improving, maturing, daily.  I hope you agree.  I couldn’t do them on my own, so again, all the glory goes to God.

Even with these added to my plate, I have continued to ask, beg, plead with God to “use me more.” Yet, nothing else has been given to me, sort of.

Get Off Your Duff and Do Something

A couple of things happened again yesterday.

After hearing a couple of sermons on being a serving member, I got the point.  God has given me a lot by letting me teach the class and share my thoughts with you, now it was my turn to “do” something.  God basically said, “Get off your duff and do something.” So, last night, I approached my minister and asked him what I needed to do at/for the church. Where could I help?  He is contemplating that and I’m sure we will talk about it more in the near future.

The other thing that happened is where I think I…er…”We” want you to get involved.  I went to Walmart last night to pick up some odds and ends for around the house (and around the litter boxes).  On my way out I was pulled to the book section.  I was needing something else to read.  Not really knowing what.

After browsing around a bit, I moved a book that was laying on it’s side, over to where it went in the shelf. There it was, behind that book.  ”A Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren was staring me in the face, God said ‘Here.’  My shopping was done.

The Thought is for YOU

Well, I read the preface and the first chapter last night. It’s a 40 day journey where 1 chapter per day is read and applied in your life.  In the preface Rick “strongly urge”s the reader to get one or more friends to join in the study as “A journey is always better when it is shared.”

So, now my question that I want to ask you is, would YOU like to join US on this journey?  With Twitter and all the social networking tools available to us, I think this could be done, it could be fun, and I think we could all get a better idea of our Purpose in this life.  I’ve only thought about it today so the plan is still in the works.  I’ve not read the entire book, so it would be a first time through for me.

At any rate, I’m ready to pursue it myself.  I need to know what my purpose is on this earth.  I have contacted another friend and we are going to do this, so don’t feel like you have to.  I’m just offering it to you, for you, not for me It is a God centered book, as we all should be.

My plans are to create another page on this blog called APDL (A Purpose Driven Life), which we can use sort of as a forum for us.  I won’t do that until I see if YOU are wanting to journey with me.

Leave me a comment and let me know what you think.  Are you in?  Got some suggestions? Think I’m biting off a big part of an apple that I won’t be able to chew?  Whatever is on your mind is fine.

If you want to, but can’t this time, I may do it again sometime next year, depending on how this one goes (if it goes).  I’ll quit rambling. Thanks for your time!

Oh, once I figure out my purpose, my goals may change. That’s why I felt it necessary to put them on hold.

SC
 

Life’s up and downs provide windows of opportunity to determine your values and goals. Think of using all obstacles as stepping stones to build the life you want.
-Marsha Sinetar

 

photo by dogfrog (cc)

It’s not that it has become one of my “not goals”, it’s just that I’ve had to tone this one down just a bit.  The first item that I would like to complete is taking the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator.  It really does sound like a good starting point, and I would have never thought of it had it not been for cheerful monk and her ideas.  I really appreciate her for that.

I’ve done a bit of searching and reading up on this “test” and I’m not sure I’m at the point where I’m ready pursue that test.  I don’t have a good reason why other than, I just want to know a bit more about it.  So, I’ve gotten more research to do in that area.

I’m going to have to re-approach this goal, this achievement, as more long term than I had initially planned.  I’m ok with that.  It’s still a desire that I have.  I just do not see it as something that I can “goal” out like I would losing weight or the like. So, my initial thought, after the research that I have done, is to take the MBTI in January, possibly the second week.

Then again, maybe I’m approaching it with way too much hesitation.  I’m not sure.  If you have further recommendations or ideas, I sure would like to hear them.  Maybe if it were you, how long term or short term do you think you personally would make this goal?

 I understand that we are all different, and there are probably as many opinions out there as there are you folks reading this.  And again, I’m OK with that.  I value your opinion.  I’m very new to this notion of goal setting and need all the “personal” help I can get.  I’m already reading other blogs on goal setting, but each is as varied as the sand on a beach.

So, please, entertain me.  You’ve listened to me ramble, let me here you.  I know you’ve got an opinion.  Please share.  Or else.

SC

Related Posts

• Personal Goal – Road to Becoming A Counselor

“Hey! Scott! Over here! How are ya doin with those goal thingys?”

Hey! I’m glad you asked.  Just have a seat, a cup of joe (depending on what time it is..hmm..another post just hit me..) and let me tell you how I’ve been handling my emotions this week.  

I’ve been handling them like a stick of dynamite. Thanks for stopping in and asking.  Check back next week fo….

“Whoa!! Yeah, nice try buddy.  That ain’t gonna work.”

*sigh* O, awright.

I’ve actually had a very good week.  Both Monday and Thursday..er..today, were fine.  No big time blow ups that I can remember. 

Prayer Life

My prayer life is improving.  Before my feet hit the floor I have to say, “Whew! God! I’m an alcoholic and man, I thank you so much for not letting me drink yesterday.  Help me not drink today.  Use me any way you see fit (dangerous I know (I don’t tell him that part..I just think it (“like he can’t hear you dummy. what an idiot.” (HEY! YOU THERE! GET OUTTA MY THOUGHTS!)))).  Oh, and thanks for letting me wake up again.  I really enjoy that part of my day.”  I think God gets a kick out of that.  He has a sense of humor you know.  But that’s for another day.

Meditation

I’ve been trying to stop at some point during the day and just close my eyes and meditate while I’m at work.  Examine my breathing, what’s going on in my head, you know, just make sure everything is in check.  Checking my pressure valves and just doing a steady release if needed.  If something was really starting to get to me, I’d stop and for 10 seconds just think about if it’s gonna matter tomorrow.  Most of the time it didn’t, but that stopping helped ease it a bit even if it did seem like it would matter.

And just yesterday I put into practice another tradition that I picked up from Motivate Thyself – Taking Time To Breathe In Life.  Taking 5 minutes (precious time to most of us nowadays) to just stop, look and listen and see what I’ve been missing, being so busy these days.  I’ll spare repeating it and give the glory where it needs to be. Check it out sometime, just come back here when your done. 

Stress Related Articles

Read previous section.

Blogged

Yep, done at too.  This really really is quite possibly still the most exhilarating, freeing, fun thing I have done…ever!  

Took time at the end of the day to think about triggers

This I did, but not so much at the end of the day.  Trying to catch them before they become major issues.  Been doing a pretty good job at that, if I do say so myself.  Although, there was a small issue yesterday but it only lasted briefly and didn’t ruin my day.  I’ll not go into that here.  Just keeping myself honest.

Conclusion

You tell me?  Have you seen..er..read any growth?  I’m curious really.  I hope that you’ve set yourself some goals by now as well.  If you haven’t, why not?

Let me help you help yourself! <—-keep it or drop it? opinions. you ain’t gonna hurt me none whichever .

SC

• Issues of the Week
• Personal Goal – Managing Emotions Correctly – Update 1

by evelynishere

This week I read the article “Sink or Swim” over at Writer Dad and it really made me think about which I was doing at this point in my professional life.  I think I’m actually treading water right now.  My arms and legs are getting tired and wrinkled from the constant motion and being under water for so long.  Time and energy wasted.  I feel stuck in this one spot.  I do look around me from time to time to see where some of the other locations are that I could be or to see if I can find a way of getting out of here.  I see the possible beaches of my life, but I choose to stay in this one spot.  Treading, looking, wondering.  

It’s comfortable.  But I’m getting really tired.  

It’s for this reason, and that article motivating me, that I’m setting another goal this week.  I’m going to move forward with the crazy thought that I’ve had in my head of becoming a professional counselor.  

Presently

I’m 35 at the time of this writing.  Divorced.  Two kids every other week, for a week.  I’m probably like you in that I have a house payment, truck Payment, ex-wife payment ((grrrr!) ok you may not have that one) and the normal bills of life.  I presently have a job making really really good money for the area that I live.  Good money for a lot of areas around here actually.  I’m pretty sure that I couldn’t make the same amount as a counselor, but I don’t know that for sure.

Why

“So why are you changing?”, you ask.  Because I don’t think I am as happy doing what I am doing now as I could be doing what I want to do.  Happiness is not the amount of money that I am making, it’s how I feel inside.  I’m not expecting to make this change right away.  I’m going at this goal a little at a time. Here is what I have so far as far as a plan goes.

The Plan

1. Keep praying daily for guidance – Probably the most important of the steps that I will be taking.
2. Google Google Google
3. Research salaries
4. Read blogs created by other counselors – Hey, if you have one or know of one, please please let me know.
5. Speak to at least 3 practicing counselors
6. Pray
7. Look for certification programs or online programs where I can get a degree
8. Come up with the funding
9. Take the courses

Now, I know some of these are vague.  5,7,8, and 9 will or can be broken down when the time comes to start them.  I just wanted this out there so that there would be some accountability.

This Week

This week I am going to tackle 1, 2, and 4.  Why skip 3?  I guess I really want to make sure that counseling is something that I would enjoy, and not just one of those curiosities I get stuck in my head.  Of course, if I find that counselors are only making 10,000.00 a year, then maybe that won’t become a full-time profession, but a part time profession.  Remains to be seen.

I would love to hear your comments.  I would especially like to hear of suggestions.  Something I missed? Something you know that I don’t?  Just let me know.

Check back next week for a progress report.  

Let me help you help yourself!
SC