Let me first extend a huge THANKS to Barbara at Blogging Without a Blog, for picking The Ever-Changing Thought as the New Blog of The Week, this week.  Please go over and give her some love.  Oh, and follow her on twitter too…@ BSwafford Thanks again, Barbara..

Well, the September (Sept 07) before last February I tried to quit drinking on my own and it didn’t happen.  But in the end…after getting the appropriate start, I did not fail, hence the big party yesterday.

I didn’t make it today without smoking either.  I owe every one of YOU and myself a huge apology.  I REFUSE to use the word “failed” though.  I prefer..mis-planned.  I went to fight in a gun fight brandishing only my fists.  After 20 years, the nicotine was a bit strong and it beat me down.

I am proud of the effort I made.  You may laugh, but I made it 4 hours without one.  But I succumbed to my mind.  I threw in the towel early.  I dodged when I should have ducked.

Eh.  There is no excuses.  I blew it.  I just plain didn’t fight a good fight.

So, today, right away, I went to Walmart and purchased Step 2 of the nicotine transdermal system That’s the picture up top there.  It’s the Equate version of the other name brand.  Equate = 20$  Name Brand = 40$.  What? 20$ sound too expensive?  Well, it lasts 2 weeks AND it’s 10+ dollars cheaper than a carton of cigarettes, which only last a week to 10 days.  I easily justified spending the money for a gun to take to the fight next time.  I just hope that I’m not chewing on the things by tomorrow afternoon.  Now THAT would be some expensive gum.

Anyway, I did say Step 2 even though I haven’t started yet.  Why?  Well, Step 1 is for sissy’s   Just kidding.  Step 1 was for those who smoke 10 or less cigarettes per day.  Yeah, I’m more like a pack-a-day kinda guy.

I really wish I could do it without having something.  I guess, though, there is no need agonize over it when something like this is available.

Did you see that?  Did you see just what just happened in that last paragraph?  See how cool the mind is?  Trying to make me feel all better.  Well, it’s not going to work until I’ve beat this habit.  At the same time, I’m not going to be down on myself about it.  I’m picking myself up and still have the mind about me to desire to quit.  I will not stop until I do.

I REFUSE to FAIL!

Because of HIM

SC

UPDATE – After trial and error (and failure to comprehend what I was reading) Step 1 is where I SHOULD start.  Today, it clearly states on the box that “If you smoke MORE than 10 cigarettes per day: Start with STEP 1.”  Means another trip to Walmart for me.