Worry implies that we don’t quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what’s happening in our lives. – Francis Chan

Three areas that I think I’ll update you on tonight.  Where we are on my back/neck issues, continuing education, and finally what’s up with the mediation and the kids. 

Health

The pain management doctor, some like to call the band-aid doctor, has done some playing with my medicine and I am taking some meds that are a little stronger than I was taking before.  The meds that I was taking, I was having to take way to often and with all the goings on in the news about over-dosing and too much acetaminophen, I was ready for something different.

Dr. Band-aid agreed and just like that, I’m on what I’m on.  Great thing is that I’m not experiencing any of the pain that I had been having in the past. In fact, the pain almost nil and when it does try to flare up, he’s given me something for that as well.

Bad thing is I’m seem to be in a constant state of wanting and needing sleep.  Some days are much worse than others, and when it seems that I may start having a good day or two, well, it’s short lived.  But, I guess it’s a necessary evil. 

I have been to a neurosurgeon and ESI (Epidural Steroid Injections) are in the works. I’ll have to have 3 shots in my neck on 3 different trips.  I thought they were going to start them this week but I haven’t heard back from the office with scheduling information.  I do have it on my calendar (for today) to call, but that will have to be moved to tomorrow since I didn’t call today.

Continuing Education

I did get my application turned in and was accepted to Liberty University.  I have also filled out and submitted the FAFSA forms, which is financial aid.  I’ve not heard anything  unless it’s sitting out there waiting for me to….

I’ve got to get my transcripts from Nashville Tech together and sent in to LU.  That’s another one of those things that I’ve got on my calendar (for today) that will have to be moved to tomorrow.  

So, I’m still going to do this.  I’m still excited and nervous.  I will say this though, and I’m not sure I like saying this, this step, this part of my life depends on how the financial aid part of all this works out.  But, I’m not gonna worry about that.

Mediation

There is another appointment scheduled for this coming Thursday @ 1:00.  I’ll need some prayers for that one.  Not sure my brain is in any kind of shape to do this.  It (my brain) seems to be a mess.  Yet, God’s got this one too so it will be fine.

Because of HIM

SC

I started sharing my meditation story  a couple of nights ago, planning on going somewhere completely different than where I ended up.  I guess that’s part of poor planning on my part, but I liked where I ended up, so I left it.  I will again attempt to go where I wanted. 

The Points

Meditation has really helped me through the trials of life in several different areas.  

• Keeps me relaxed 
• Keeps me closer to God
• Keeps me focused on my destination

I will not go into the process at this point, but I may share with you bits and pieces of my routine that help in the areas I’ve mentioned.  There is a link at the end of the article to sound files that help me with guided meditation.

Relaxing

Focusing on my breathing brings emotions, thoughts, and body rhythm all together and puts me into a state of relaxation that I thought I would never be able to reach on my own. Relaxing is very important while maintaining sobriety.  It seems that my mind races from thought to thought and never stops.  Muscles are tense, the brain is repairing itself, the normal routine of life is just blown apart.  It’s almost maddening, sometimes to the point of drinking to halt the thoughts. Meditation and relaxation brings all of these to a halt and puts me in touch with what’s going on in my body.  I guess it’s like an “out of body” experience, without all the creepy music and lights.  It is a really exhilarating feeling, especially at night right before bed.

Closer to God

While focusing on breathing, I often recite the Serenity Prayer:

With each breath in, I recite a line of the prayer, focusing on the words and before I know it, I am having a full conversation with God.  Not like prayer talk, just like talking to a friend.  Sometimes it seems there are answers to questions, questions posed, and lessons learned.  A presence of God in the room that can be felt.  In touch. Close to God.  Always thanking him for his help through the day, and getting a pat on the back.

Focused on My Destination

That destination being another day without drinking.  Simple, yet at times trying and very difficult.  As I stated before, meditation brings “everything” in to focus.

Perfection?

I have not kept this up through the whole 7+ months.  There was a spell of about 3 months where I didn’t meditate a single day.  I have now been meditating nightly (sometimes in the middle of the day) and there is such a different feeling, stress level, and spirit of well being now, than there was at any point during the 3 months that I was not meditating.  Those 3 months have taught me just how important this process is.

For Everyone?

I think meditation is only for those who are struggling in any area of life.  Are you?  If you are, and I’m gonna guess that just about anyone (everyone) reading this is struggling with something, try meditating.  Give it some time, you probably won’t be able to just take off and get into that “state.”   Like anything else, it requires practice and patience, but the payoff will be grand! Promise.

Audio Dharma (Don’t let the images and name scare you into thinking it’s some kinda of weeeee oooooo thing)

Let me help you help yourself!

SC