photo by ro_buk

Have you ever thought about a situation you were in, turned to the Bible to make yourself feel better or give you a different, better, more positive outlook on the situation, only to be put pretty much in the same situation you were in before you looked, possibly a tad worse?

I was thinking about me and why I was not quickly pursuing getting my classes scheduled at Liberty University.  I’ve thought about it in the past and during that thought process I questioned my faith in God.  No, not that I had zero faith, but maybe that it wasn’t as strong as I thought it should be.  If I had the faith I thought I should have, then all of the steps through the process should be easy, no-brainer decisions.  Yet, I hesitate.  Why?

So, I turned to God for answers and he led me down a different thought process.  He pretty  much told me to get it together, or else.  Well, maybe not that harsh but it he has put a little pep in my step.

Instead of questioning my faith, I turned to the thought that maybe fear is keeping me in the hold pattern.  Not really wanting to land because I’m not sure the landing will be successful.  Surely fear is a better excuse and less damaging to what I consider to be a wonderful relationship with God.

Well, it didn’t work out that way for me, sort of.  I retrieved my trusty concordance from the bookshelf, searched for fear, and was swallowed up by the number of entries relating to fear.  Now, where to start?

I started out in 1 John.

18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. -1 John 4:18

Well, that didn’t help.  I know I’m not perfect, but that was a little to negative for what I was looking for.  That conversation made me think that not only did I lack the faith I should have, but I also lack the love for God like I should because of my fear. 

I think I’ll look somewhere else.

14 In righteousness you will be established:
Tyranny will be far from you;
you will have nothing to fear.
Terror will be far removed;
it will not come near you.-Isaiah 54:14

Great!  Now he’s telling me that because of fear, I’m not established in righteousness.  Now I’m starting to think of everything else I’ve been afraid of. 

Is it really not OK to have fear?  Well, maybe OK isn’t the correct term.  I mean, I don’t think fear is one of those Heaven or Hell issues.  But, there I go thinking.

So I turned our talk toward determining what we are “allowed” to fear and what we aren’t supposed to fear.

Don’t Fear

• Man – Proverbs 29:25; Matthew 10:28 (those who kill the body)
• Our Faith – John 12:42-50 Good example here of some Jews who were afraid to confess their faith because they might be put out of the synagogue, which to my understanding would pretty much be the end of the world for them.  Jesus in the verses following pretty much said that it will be the end of their world if they don’t confess their faith.
• The Lord – Lamentations 3:57

Fear

• Our Salvation – or how our salvation is working. Philippians 2:12
• Authorities– Romans 13:1-7  Probably more of a fear the consequences of not doing what they tell us to do, because doing so is the same as rebelling against God.
• The Lord – Way to many verses to put here.  I did a search for fear of the Lord in Proverbs alone.  You can see the results here.

Side Story

It’s 5AM the morning after I had written all of what is above.  As luck would have it  As it seems to have been planned, a storm with vivid lightning, crashing thunder that moves the house, and torrential rain, has moved into the area.  I’m sitting in the dark (because I want to, not because the lights are out) and I remember the days of my youth and how fearful I was of storms.  In fact, just the wind itself might have been my biggest fear when I was growing up.

A particular day when I was 13 are in my thoughts. I remember being the only one at home on this day and a fierce storm raced through the area.  Dad and Mom were both at work, each several minutes away.  Mom may have been 20 minutes or more away, I just can’t remember.  They each might as well had been a million miles away.

The wind picked up, the lightning flashed, the trees were bending over to where I sure thought the tops were touching the ground.  Not sure if there was a tornado in the area that day or not. 

I remember standing with the front door open, like you do during a horrible storm.  I was crying, quite possibly screaming.  Not sure about that.  I may have just wanted to scream.

It was a very moving experience.   I’m surprised that things of the wet nature didn’t move into my shorts from my bladder.

But I got over that fear.  At some point I fell in love with storms and would get so excited at the sound of thunder, the sight of lightning, and wind became a friend of mine.

Continue

Flash forward to February 2007. 

My faith in God and my fear of God were non-existent. 

A tornado ravaged the community where I live.  It came so close to my home where I was again, alone, drunk.  But, in the hopes that God was still around somewhere, I managed to pray, beg, live.  I was spared.

Not long after the tornado, I tired of dealing with my alcoholism and sought help.  While on the quest of becoming sober, he was there.  Always was. 

It took God putting the fear back into me that allowed me to see the errors of my way.  While at Cumberland Heights, my faith increased a thousand fold, a million fold, and a relationship was born…re-born.

So what does all of this mean, God? Sum it up for me.  What are you telling me? What does this have to do with classes and fear and faith? 

13 For I am the Lord, your God,
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you. –Isaiah 41:13  

Oh.  Okay then.  Don’t fear and my faith will increase?  What do you think?  I’m struggling to put the period on this post.  Maybe you can finish it for me….

Because of HIM

SC

Those who do wickedly against the covenant he shall corrupt with flattery; but the people who know their God shall be strong, and carry out great exploits

-Daniel 11:32

 

image by Puli Friend

I tried.  I’ve been avoiding writing about politics, it’s just not usually my cup of tea, and I’m sure the rest of ya are tired of hearing as well.  I don’t have a large readership, but I greatly value the ones that I have.  The following are MY feelings of my country’s current situation.  I can’t hold them in when I have even the tiniest voice.  It’s still a part of my story, though I am hesitant. 

 I’m so glad the mess is over, but yet the fear of a mess a thousand times worse, that has been at the back of my mind, has suddenly been forced into a scary reality.  I was prepared for bad, but not for the feelings that I have as I place these words carefully, here, for you to ingest.

Forced into being by words that I hoped, out of fear, I would never hear.  Fear that has came on like a thief in the night.  Forcing itself into my being, my bowels, taking away all good and perfect thoughts that were once, only just moments ago, filling my mind, my body, and yes, my even my soul.  What was once a perfect evening, now almost ruined by the thought of evil.  The thief, yes, I could see this thief.  Roaming, sneaking, prowling in the night.  As each second passed, I could see him getting ever so close.  I did my duty to fend him off, but my duty did not avail.  I was overpowered, no, we…we were overpowered.

Yet, there is a God who will see us through.  I thank God for his being.  For his presence.  For his mercy.  I pray, oh how I pray that these thoughts, these fears are nothing more than they are, thoughts and fears.

There is nothing more for me to do, nothing more than what I would have done.  I must, WE must, continue to pray, fervently.  Pray for our country, pray for our new leaders, pray that the choices they make will be made only after turning to the one true God for answers.  

God be with US(A)

SC