Image by angelsk via Flickr

It’s been a really rough/tough year.  The bulging disc I have in my neck has caused pain that has pretty much taken over life.  It has been hard to do anything because the pain is so prominent.  Even writing here on the blog has been tough, as you can tell from my absence.  I have desires to write, but those desires soon gets taken over by the pain and I don’t want to do anything but make it go away.  I’m hoping that gets resolved soon because I really miss writing and doing other things that I like and finding new things that I don’t know that I like.

Some may not know this, but on Jan 6th at noon, I’ll be going under the knife.  A 45 minute surgery to perform a disc fusion in my neck.  I’m ready for it.  I’m beyond ready to get rid of this pain and get some normalcy of life back.  Including writing and everything else I’ve been wanting to do.

So, I’ve been thinking.  Scary, I know.  If you are just starting recovery and you feel on top of the world, let me warn you.  You are going to experience life’s hardships.

The first year of my recovery I can remember how great everything was.  I felt invincible almost.  It was a feeling like I had reached the pinnacle of life and I could handle anything that came at me.

During the second year, reality struck and life hasn’t been so easy.  Reality being that I’m not even close to invincible.  Situations ARE going to come up that I have absolutely zero control over.

Situations have occurred where I knew that I needed to listen to God and let him take control.  I’ve really struggled with those situations the most.  Mainly because I want control.  Even if I tell myself and tell God that I’m letting him have it, I can’t keep my paws off of it.  It’s selfishness, and us alcoholics thrive on it.  One hundred percent of the time, those situations don’t go away and often they get worse.  Still, I want control.  And it doesn’t help that I’m not real sure how we are supposed to let go of it.  So, I’ve been trying to figure that out within the last quarter of this year.  It’s a work in progress.

I’m so glad that during that first year of recovery I worked hard on my new foundation.  I’m glad that I had taken so much time recognizing that God is my rock.

I shutter to think how much different this year could have been had I not done exactly everything that I did during the first year.  I would be lying if I said that during this rough time I’ve never had a thought about alcohol.  There have been times where it would have been so easy to give in.  But, I thank God that I was given the chance to build my relationship with him.  It’s because of that, that I didn’t let any of those thoughts hang around and I didn’t act on any of them.

For your recovery’s sake, if you don’t believe in God, find your higher power and sink as much time as you can into recognizing just how powerful and wonderful and great it is.  I do pray that you will soon see that, that higher power is God.  For now though, just don’t do life on your own.

As I have been writing this, the “pink cloud” keeps coming to mind.  During my first year, I heard this cloud mentioned so many times and had no clue what folks were talking about.  Now, I realize that during part of that first year I was riding the pink cloud.

Because of HIM,

SC

Image by Iñaki Mateos via Flickr

I’m at one of my weakest points and he knows it.  He’s found a hole in my defense’s and is trying desperately to chip away at the edges and reach my core.  He’s party successful.

He’s found a way to shift my focus from where it should be.  Always keeping me focused on my infirmary.  Worse, keeping me focused on me.

Keeping me locked in pain to the point of becoming nothing but a clump of flesh. A miserable, peace-less, worthless, ball of soft tissue.

The cries of joy have turned into screams of agony.  The winks of love are now winces of hate.

Laughter is just a memory.  Something that was; cause now even the laughter pains me.

The joy that was me.  In me. With me.  He’s carting off in droves.

I feel powerless to stop him.  It’s another of his stupid tactics; he uses it well.

Though I know he is there, more importantly I too know that you, God, are there.  For if you weren’t I’m afraid I wouldn’t be.

I’m reaching out.  I’m hanging on.  I’m going to live again because You love me so.  You showed me so.

Because of HIM,

SC

photo by ro_buk

Have you ever thought about a situation you were in, turned to the Bible to make yourself feel better or give you a different, better, more positive outlook on the situation, only to be put pretty much in the same situation you were in before you looked, possibly a tad worse?

I was thinking about me and why I was not quickly pursuing getting my classes scheduled at Liberty University.  I’ve thought about it in the past and during that thought process I questioned my faith in God.  No, not that I had zero faith, but maybe that it wasn’t as strong as I thought it should be.  If I had the faith I thought I should have, then all of the steps through the process should be easy, no-brainer decisions.  Yet, I hesitate.  Why?

So, I turned to God for answers and he led me down a different thought process.  He pretty  much told me to get it together, or else.  Well, maybe not that harsh but it he has put a little pep in my step.

Instead of questioning my faith, I turned to the thought that maybe fear is keeping me in the hold pattern.  Not really wanting to land because I’m not sure the landing will be successful.  Surely fear is a better excuse and less damaging to what I consider to be a wonderful relationship with God.

Well, it didn’t work out that way for me, sort of.  I retrieved my trusty concordance from the bookshelf, searched for fear, and was swallowed up by the number of entries relating to fear.  Now, where to start?

I started out in 1 John.

18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. -1 John 4:18

Well, that didn’t help.  I know I’m not perfect, but that was a little to negative for what I was looking for.  That conversation made me think that not only did I lack the faith I should have, but I also lack the love for God like I should because of my fear. 

I think I’ll look somewhere else.

14 In righteousness you will be established:
Tyranny will be far from you;
you will have nothing to fear.
Terror will be far removed;
it will not come near you.-Isaiah 54:14

Great!  Now he’s telling me that because of fear, I’m not established in righteousness.  Now I’m starting to think of everything else I’ve been afraid of. 

Is it really not OK to have fear?  Well, maybe OK isn’t the correct term.  I mean, I don’t think fear is one of those Heaven or Hell issues.  But, there I go thinking.

So I turned our talk toward determining what we are “allowed” to fear and what we aren’t supposed to fear.

Don’t Fear

• Man – Proverbs 29:25; Matthew 10:28 (those who kill the body)
• Our Faith – John 12:42-50 Good example here of some Jews who were afraid to confess their faith because they might be put out of the synagogue, which to my understanding would pretty much be the end of the world for them.  Jesus in the verses following pretty much said that it will be the end of their world if they don’t confess their faith.
• The Lord – Lamentations 3:57

Fear

• Our Salvation – or how our salvation is working. Philippians 2:12
• Authorities– Romans 13:1-7  Probably more of a fear the consequences of not doing what they tell us to do, because doing so is the same as rebelling against God.
• The Lord – Way to many verses to put here.  I did a search for fear of the Lord in Proverbs alone.  You can see the results here.

Side Story

It’s 5AM the morning after I had written all of what is above.  As luck would have it  As it seems to have been planned, a storm with vivid lightning, crashing thunder that moves the house, and torrential rain, has moved into the area.  I’m sitting in the dark (because I want to, not because the lights are out) and I remember the days of my youth and how fearful I was of storms.  In fact, just the wind itself might have been my biggest fear when I was growing up.

A particular day when I was 13 are in my thoughts. I remember being the only one at home on this day and a fierce storm raced through the area.  Dad and Mom were both at work, each several minutes away.  Mom may have been 20 minutes or more away, I just can’t remember.  They each might as well had been a million miles away.

The wind picked up, the lightning flashed, the trees were bending over to where I sure thought the tops were touching the ground.  Not sure if there was a tornado in the area that day or not. 

I remember standing with the front door open, like you do during a horrible storm.  I was crying, quite possibly screaming.  Not sure about that.  I may have just wanted to scream.

It was a very moving experience.   I’m surprised that things of the wet nature didn’t move into my shorts from my bladder.

But I got over that fear.  At some point I fell in love with storms and would get so excited at the sound of thunder, the sight of lightning, and wind became a friend of mine.

Continue

Flash forward to February 2007. 

My faith in God and my fear of God were non-existent. 

A tornado ravaged the community where I live.  It came so close to my home where I was again, alone, drunk.  But, in the hopes that God was still around somewhere, I managed to pray, beg, live.  I was spared.

Not long after the tornado, I tired of dealing with my alcoholism and sought help.  While on the quest of becoming sober, he was there.  Always was. 

It took God putting the fear back into me that allowed me to see the errors of my way.  While at Cumberland Heights, my faith increased a thousand fold, a million fold, and a relationship was born…re-born.

So what does all of this mean, God? Sum it up for me.  What are you telling me? What does this have to do with classes and fear and faith? 

13 For I am the Lord, your God,
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you. –Isaiah 41:13  

Oh.  Okay then.  Don’t fear and my faith will increase?  What do you think?  I’m struggling to put the period on this post.  Maybe you can finish it for me….

Because of HIM

SC

Looking back on my younger days, I had, probably still have, a really good imagination.  No brothers or sisters to have to worry about so I had plenty of time to really enjoy the many places I could go in my mind.  I also could almost become my toys, especially the really cool ones. 

Speaking of cool, When the Transformers hit the scene back in the 80’s, I got hooked instantly.  The Transformers were perfect for me.  Two toys in one.  I had a robot…and a car, truck, or airplane.  On many occasions I would get lost in my own little world with my little transforming cars and trucks and airplanes and become a part of the world I created.  

Oh, and the joy of getting a new Transformer!  The fun of getting home, opening the packaging, and figuring out how to move parts around to get it from one form into another.  The satisfaction that I got when the transformation was complete.  I had conquered it!  Success!  Now it joined the league ready to take on the evil of my world.

What a great concept, in my opinion.  Being in one form and having the capability of changing into something else, a completely different form. 

Who knew that how ever many years later that I would be writing to tell you that I liked the transformers so much that I invested and have become a Transformer myself.

It started not long after the Transformers came on the scene.  It’s a process that is going to take a lifetime to complete.  But man, when I get done I’m going to be awesome!

Of course the transforming that I’m writing about here is the same thing that Paul was writing to the church at Corinth:

17Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 18And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. ~2 Corinthians 3:17-18

I thought that once the transforming started it was going to be easy.  Boy, was I wrong. 

It wasn’t long after I started transforming that I started getting lazy.  I stopped being excited about continuing to let the Lord move me around and continue making me to be what he wanted. 

Then, I just stopped. In a sense, I guess I started reversing the transformation process. Discouragement, selfishness, personal desires and later in life just plain disbelief, pretty much completely stopped it all.

It was at that point that I started worshipping my own gods that I speak about so often on this blog.  I guess, a good summary of my un-transformed life, after I knew what I was supposed to be is found right here:

29They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, 30slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents;31they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. 32Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.- Romans 1:29-35

If you know me that might seem a bit harsh. I guess you may think it’s spot on which I hope isn’t the case.  I know that in my heart this is how I want to describe me at my lowest. 

I’m so thankful that God and his Spirit enjoys playing with transformers.  When I was at that lowest I let them grab me back up and start moving my parts around, to transform me again.  This time, though, I’m going to let them finish! 

All the angels in Heaven will be rejoicing when my transformation is complete.  They can be just as excited about my transformation as I was when I brought that toy home for the first time.

There are times I think We are really really close to getting everything lined up just right and something will happen.  Then when I examine myself, I’m a mess or certain things were put in the wrong place.  That’s when it stops being “we“ and becomes just “me” trying to do the transforming.  Just proof that Satan likes to play with transformers too. 

Not sure when I will be finished transforming.  Right now We are working on getting everything in it’s perfect place.  My heart, my mind, my everything is in motion, to be complete, to be….transformed.

Because of HIM

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This is the third and final part of this series.  If you’ve missed the other posts you can catch up starting with A Hit on an Old Thought, A Hit on an Old Thought – Part 2. 

On my own?

As I stated in a prior post, I know I can not stay sober doing this on my own.  “This” being recovery and the lifelong process that is involved.  I have someone that I pass my disease off to everyday.  Who?  The one I trust the most and knows what’s best for any situation I’m in, God. 

When my day is over and I haven’t had a thought of alcohol, I always thank him for taking care of me. 

I feel more comfortable dealing with my disease knowing that He will do more for me than going to AA could do.  In return, I’ve dedicated my life to doing whatever he desires of me.  I’m not perfect at this part of the return, but perfection is only something I strive for. 

Now instead of going around constantly thinking that I am an alcoholic, I can spend my time thinking of how I can be a better Christian. 

My Support Group

I also have a huge support group.  I don’t mind telling folks my struggles so my church family also knows that I am an alcoholic.  They don’t look down on me, well some might still but that’s not my problem. I know the group is there if I ever need to talk to someone, even some that are having to live with and fight alcoholism.  It’s the best support group that a person could have with the best leader there ever was and ever will be.

Conclusion

So, I don’t have to constantly be thinking about me being an alcoholic.  I don’t have to hear the horror stories of life past, nor do I have to think of my personal horror stories.  After all, it’s all in the past and it’s OK to forget about it I think. 

Some will argue against that and I suppose it’s ok.  I’m having the best times of my life and I know it would be so much different if I were still going to AA meetings every night. 

It is so nice to spend my time thinking about my current life, how I can be a better Christian, and continuing to build my relationship with God, Jesus, my kids, myself, and all of my brothers and sisters. 

I was going to say that what is working for me won’t work for everyone but I don’t believe that for a second.  God will help you with any addiction that you are having trouble with.  All it takes is you becoming a slave to God.  But, it’s ok.  No, it’s better than OK, it’s fantabulous!

Because of HIM

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For the first part of this series go visit A Hit on an Old Thought

Let Me Explain

I’ve heard the phrase “You are what you think” and I’m still struggling with whether I believe that or not.  I suppose there is, or can be, a lot of truth to it.  After this three part series I’ll be posting another thought that goes along with that same phrase.  I suppose I’m talking myself into believing it.

Looking back, “You are what you think” is a reason that I am better off out of the rooms than in them.  I don’t know about you, but often my thinking gets me in states of mind that I’d just soon not be in.  While I was in the rooms a common saying that I would hear was “Stinkin thinkin” and the thought was as alcoholics, when we start thinking our alcoholic thoughts, we are just getting that much closer to drinking, again.

But of all the good that came from this “You are what you think” I think more harm (re-reading now and harm may not be the choicest of words) can be done than good.  We introduce ourselves as alcoholics when speaking.  That’s nothing you’ve not heard about or seen on TV.  The stories we tell are centered around alcohol and all of the bad things that it did in our lives.  Even a lot of the private conversations were centered around this same thing.

I was always thinking about my disease.

Therapy

This was very therapeutic, don’t get me wrong.  In it’s basic form it kept me on my toes and also remind me that I’m not alone in my struggle.  It gave me a chance to shine.  It made me feel good about myself.  If not good at least I didn’t feel like the worst person on the face of the planet.

I don’t know how it works.  I don’t know how talking about something that had consumed me for so long helped me to overcome that something.  But, it worked.  It has worked for others for years.  It will continue to work.  And it works in other areas of addiction, it’s not just for alcoholics.

There came a time when I think I just got tired of the therapy. 

Even after hearing all of the horror stories of relapse from those who had quit going to their meetings, quit staying in touch with their sponsors, and struck out on their own doomed for failure because of “stinkin thinkin”, I was ready to move on.  Ready to stop thinking about this demon, alcoholism, all the time.  Ready for a different type of therapy.

Just so you know

I am still aware of several things.  Yes, I’m an alcoholic.  No, I can never forget that.  I don’t have to discuss it constantly to be aware of that.  No, I will not be able stay sober on my own.

Next post I will let you know how I’m doing it.  I’ll fill you in on my current therapy.  If you’ve been around here very long at all, I’m guessing you already have a pretty good idea how.

Because of HIM

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I know I’ve written about this, or something very similar.  Sometime something someone (lot’s of somes there) says in conversation sparks the same old thoughts I’ve had in the past, yet my views or answer may have changed a tad.

I’m not sure if this change is because of maturity, a cleaner head, better thinking or what.  All I know is I’ve had this thought in my head for a bit over a month now and I feel a need to share it, again.  Maybe I just need to get it out of my head and it’s one of those thoughts that may help you, or someone you know, in the future.

First Things First

Let me first say right off that AA and what it does for folks and what it did for me is something along the lines of fantabulous.  The AA program, I think, is one of those programs, and I hate to use the word program here, that has really made and continues to make a huge change in the lives of many which causes a change in the world. 

That world may only be as large as the family that is directly affected by alcoholism but to some that is the only world they have.   AA changes that world for that one person and yes I think that the result is something borderline miraculous.  Not so sure I wouldn’t call it a miracle now.

So, if you are walking into the rooms daily, hang in there.  My hats off to you.  My hats off to all those who keep it going.  I hope for the lives of so many others that will need it in the future that AA will be around for years to come.  I hate, HATE, the reason it has to be around but that mess is never going to go away.

Let’s Get Physical

As I said earlier, this thought resurfaced a month or so ago and I have had lots of time to think about it.  I had someone say they were concerned that I was no longer attending my recovery groups and they wanted to know why.

Now is where I get a bit nervous in my writing.  Now is the point where my stomach starts to cramp from the dread and the worry.  I hope that none of you in the rooms take this personally.  The following is only my opinion.

This is one of the reasons I am glad I no longer attend AA meetings.  I’ll fill you in again on what I’m doing instead of AA because there is a method to my madness…..sometimes.

I think if I were still going to AA meetings regularly, and by regularly I mean no less than 3 times a week, then I really think my life and my lifestyle would not be what it is today.  I honestly don’t think, for me, that it would be anywhere near as good as what I have today.  And that isn’t much.

End of Part 1

Well it looks as though if I kept going this post would turn into a novel.  I’m going to have to break this up into two, possibly three, posts.  I know how much you guys enjoy that. 

Next post I’ll have more room to do my explaining.  More than likely the third post will finish up and I’ll again fill you in on what I’m doing in my life to make me feel that way.

I hope you’ll come back and visit.

Because of HIM

SC

“A goal without a plan is just a wish.”-Larry Elder

Image by Express Monorail via Flickr

If only for tonight, these two words together, “I Wish”, I would like to remove from my vocabulary.  I guess that in and of itself is an “I wish” statement.  I’m not liking it right now.  It seems to be almost counter-productive to me.  

It’s as if I am giving myself and excuse to not achieve.  Giving myself an excuse to not even make an attempt to do something because it immediately becomes un-attainable when those words are spoken.  Because in my mind when I make a wish, the fairy dust is supposed to fall from the ceiling and *POOF* there it is.  Just like the fairy tale it came from, what is wished for too becomes a part of that fairy tale.

And when it’s not there, it brings forth a bit of sadness because I had already imagined what I would be doing with whatever I had just wished for.  I’ll admit though that there is a bit of excitement or fun that goes along with it because of where I go when it’s wished for.  I’m not sure, though, that it’s worth the sadness of the reality.

Why do I do that to myself?  Sure, some wishes turn into goals, but very rarely I think.  Most likely that is why I’m having such a difficult time not smoking.  I find myself “wishing” I could quit.  I find myself “wishing” I could become a counselor.  I find myself “wishing’ I were out of debt.  I find myself wishing for things that ARE attainable.  BUT my mind is so accustomed to dismissing those wishes that it doesn’t take me seriously.

“What spurred this on,” you ask?

I stopped myself from responding to a tweet with an “I wish I could do that.”  I don’t know if I really, truly, WISHED I could do what I was about to say.  To say I wish I could do it was just an excuse for me to try and make myself feel better.  So I didn’t. I faced reality.

I was tweeting with @SteveGarufi tonight and he made a statement about riding his bike 95miles from Buena Vista to Colorado Springs.   I asked if he had ridden that far before and he said that he had.  One day last year he rode 128miles, and he sent me a link.  He had taken some pictures on his journey.  It wasn’t long though until I learned that this was only 1 day out of the 45 that it took him to bike across America.  When I learned that, WOW!  How awesome that must have been!  I can’t imagine the feeling of accomplishment that he must have had.  I wanted that feeling.  

He sent me the link to his site where he has pictures up of each day that he rode along with a description of the pictures.  He sent me a link to the map of his bike ride.  (I invite you to check out his site bikeacrossamerica.org. I’m still reading it and am just in awe.) 

I almost blurted out in response to his links and info, “Man, I wish I could do that.”  It was my minds way of giving me that feeling temporarily.  I fought it.  Instead I faced reality.  I told him how awesome it sounded but I wear out walking from the bed to the couch.  Reality.  

So does that mean that I’m planning a bike ride across America?  

Yeah.  I Wish.

Am I gonna stop wishing?

Man, I wish.

Because of HIM,

SC

photo by st_a_sh

Today is November 25^th 2008. No, it is. I was re-born 9 months ago today. That’s right. Today, I’m 9 months sober!

Let’s begin. First I’ll list baby’s milestone then I will follow it up with how I apply that to my life. Make sense?

Milestone – Baby Now Can Pull Himself Up To A Standing Position From Sitting Down.

Eh, it’s a stretch. They make it sound sooo easy. I find it hard sometimes to just go from a lying position to a sitting position. Much less sitting to standing, mostly because I still have a bit (if you know me, hush) of a belly. 10 months ago, it was all but impossible to get up on my feet. The hangover. The lack of desire. But today, I’m glad to have the will, the life, and the joy of being able to get up to my own two feet, sorta. See the next milestone.

Milestone – Baby Can Stand While Holding On To Someone Or Something.

I’m going approach this milestone two different ways. Those ways are:

a.) I’m way past this point. 10 months ago, while I was drunk, I would usually have to hold on to something to even stand. Not today. Stable as a rock on my feet.

b.) This is me, exactly. I can stand as long as I’m holding on to someone or something else, finally. No way would I be able to stand on my own. I thank God that his hand is always right there to hold me up when I start to fall.

Milestone – He Can Stand Alone For A Few Seconds Or Perhaps Longer.

Again, I’m sometimes scared to attempt standing on my own. When I do make that attempt, if for only a few seconds, I have a tendency to fall flat on my face, or worse. That’s usually when the devil rears his ugly head and beats me into submission.

Milestone – He Can Walk While Holding Onto Furniture

10 Months ago I did this a lot. Sometimes failing…er…falling, miserably. It seemed the room was in constant motion and it was a chore to go from the living room to the bedroom at times. If I wasn’t holding onto the furniture, I was leaning against a wall. Man, that sounds like fun, Huh?

Now, I don’t really need the furniture (or the wall) to walk. I’ve always got that someone or something from the other milestones to assist me on this walk through this life.

Milestone – Baby Drinks From A Cup

Hey! Alright! I’m 100% on this one! Usually it’s a coffee cup even. Not a bottle or a can. And I usually don’t dribble, much. Freedom!

Milestone – He Understands The Meaning Of “No.”

Yep. I understand the meaning of it. Just don’t take to well to it. Come on. Give me a break. I’m only 9 months old.

Milestone – Baby Says “mama” or “dada”

I finally do. I used to not talk to them at all. But you know. Being able to have a wonderful conversation about God, religion, life, and hope with them is so precious. It’s still taking some practice to be able to do this clearly, openly, and often. But I feel I’ve made great progress. If not, shame on me.

Conclusion

I think, all in all, it’s great progress. 9 months and still going and growing strong. Milestones come and go, but it’s a blast attaining them, passing them, reaching for new ones. Hey, at least I’ve got most of my mind back where I can at least attempt some type of comparison such as this.

What’s my most valued milestone? Milestone 2b.

Help The Ever-Changing Thought

Since I’ve reached another milestone in my life I would, again, like your feedback on this site. How’s it going? What am I missing? What would you like to see more/less of? I will take it all as constructive. If you don’t want to leave it in the comments for all to see, please email me your thoughts.

Because of Him

SC

“Hey! Scott! Over here! How are ya doin with those goal thingys?”

Hey! I’m glad you asked.  Just have a seat, a cup of joe (depending on what time it is..hmm..another post just hit me..) and let me tell you how I’ve been handling my emotions this week.  

I’ve been handling them like a stick of dynamite. Thanks for stopping in and asking.  Check back next week fo….

“Whoa!! Yeah, nice try buddy.  That ain’t gonna work.”

*sigh* O, awright.

I’ve actually had a very good week.  Both Monday and Thursday..er..today, were fine.  No big time blow ups that I can remember. 

Prayer Life

My prayer life is improving.  Before my feet hit the floor I have to say, “Whew! God! I’m an alcoholic and man, I thank you so much for not letting me drink yesterday.  Help me not drink today.  Use me any way you see fit (dangerous I know (I don’t tell him that part..I just think it (“like he can’t hear you dummy. what an idiot.” (HEY! YOU THERE! GET OUTTA MY THOUGHTS!)))).  Oh, and thanks for letting me wake up again.  I really enjoy that part of my day.”  I think God gets a kick out of that.  He has a sense of humor you know.  But that’s for another day.

Meditation

I’ve been trying to stop at some point during the day and just close my eyes and meditate while I’m at work.  Examine my breathing, what’s going on in my head, you know, just make sure everything is in check.  Checking my pressure valves and just doing a steady release if needed.  If something was really starting to get to me, I’d stop and for 10 seconds just think about if it’s gonna matter tomorrow.  Most of the time it didn’t, but that stopping helped ease it a bit even if it did seem like it would matter.

And just yesterday I put into practice another tradition that I picked up from Motivate Thyself – Taking Time To Breathe In Life.  Taking 5 minutes (precious time to most of us nowadays) to just stop, look and listen and see what I’ve been missing, being so busy these days.  I’ll spare repeating it and give the glory where it needs to be. Check it out sometime, just come back here when your done. 

Stress Related Articles

Read previous section.

Blogged

Yep, done at too.  This really really is quite possibly still the most exhilarating, freeing, fun thing I have done…ever!  

Took time at the end of the day to think about triggers

This I did, but not so much at the end of the day.  Trying to catch them before they become major issues.  Been doing a pretty good job at that, if I do say so myself.  Although, there was a small issue yesterday but it only lasted briefly and didn’t ruin my day.  I’ll not go into that here.  Just keeping myself honest.

Conclusion

You tell me?  Have you seen..er..read any growth?  I’m curious really.  I hope that you’ve set yourself some goals by now as well.  If you haven’t, why not?

Let me help you help yourself! <—-keep it or drop it? opinions. you ain’t gonna hurt me none whichever .

SC

• Issues of the Week
• Personal Goal – Managing Emotions Correctly – Update 1