Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…

-James 1:19

photo by OH SHOUT UP!!!

HEY again!  I’m glad you stopped by.  Want to hear another of my thoughts?  You do?  Well, good cause I got one for you.  Now, I’m not an expert on this, but I did sleep in a Holiday Inn last night (well, not really…it’s from the commercial. Have you seen it?…well that doesn’t matter….)  

Anyway, this was in the scripture that I used in the class that I taught this morning.  There are so many different paths I think one COULD take with this, but the reason that I brought it up is because I think heeding this advice could make everyone a little less on edge everyday.  

Turning on the Heat

So many times in a conversation, when the heat starts to build, we start turning off the other party and start planning our come back, our rebuttal.  We become defensive and the conversation goes from a two-way conversation with a human to a two-way conversation with ourselves.  Our thoughts cause us to seethe in anger.  Waiting for the other party to just “Shut up so I can get MY word in here.”   Often we miss the final thoughts from the other person because something has turned over the anger box and the little anger bugs start filling all the voids in our minds.  These “closing” remarks the other party makes might even resolve the issue that we started seething over, but we missed it.  I’m as guilty of this as the next person.  Though I’m trying, unsuccessfully the most of the time.

Listen Up..Count Up

So,  listen up.  Take a chill pill man..er woman!  Force yourself to listen.  I told the class this morning that counting to 10 does help, a lot.  It just depends on how you count.  I typically will be counting with my fists clinched, my teeth grinding not thinking about the counting.  I’m counting, yes, but at the same time, I’m still planning.  I’m just using the counting as a way to make myself feel OK for what I’m about to say or do, I guess.  Instead, try to focus on the numbers as they cross your mind.  Think about each one and soon your thoughts should become more calm.  

Is this going to help in every situation?  No.  I suppose sometimes we are just destined to be angry.  Maybe in those situations we should just leave the conversation, politely.  Tell the other person that we need to step back for a few minutes, but would love to continue the conversation as soon as possible.  Don’t just walk away from it, that will only make things worse for YOU.  

Conclusion

If I were going to summarize this section of verse, I would probably do so this way.  If you want to be less angry (slow to become angry) then you have to be more ready to listen (quick to listen) and less happy to speak (slow to speak).  

Scott’s Dummy Guide

Anger is only going to hurt the one who is angry, not the one the anger is pointed at.  The other party may soon forget the anger that you flung their way.  For you though, it’s going to stick with YOU a whole lot longer.  Unless something is done, you’re most likely going to be thinking about it 10 years down the road.  That’s not healthy. That is also fuel for more anger.  

This is a pretty elementary thought that probably the lot of you have figured out already.  I felt inspired to share that verse (and the rest of that chapter) with my class this morning, and I also felt inspired to share it with you.  

Did you need to hear it? 

Like anything else, don’t expect this to happen the first time you try it.  It’s going to require practice, patience and understanding.  I’m gonna be right there with ya, practicing cause I sure need it.  And if your an alcoholic, recovering or otherwise, it’s going to take even more practice because we are a selfish lot.  This “idea” doesn’t go along with our me me me tendencies.

Do you have something you would like to add?  Please share it.  Like I said, I’m not an expert and could use all the help an inspiration that you could. 

SC