“A goal without a plan is just a wish.”-Larry Elder

Image by Express Monorail via Flickr

If only for tonight, these two words together, “I Wish”, I would like to remove from my vocabulary.  I guess that in and of itself is an “I wish” statement.  I’m not liking it right now.  It seems to be almost counter-productive to me.  

It’s as if I am giving myself and excuse to not achieve.  Giving myself an excuse to not even make an attempt to do something because it immediately becomes un-attainable when those words are spoken.  Because in my mind when I make a wish, the fairy dust is supposed to fall from the ceiling and *POOF* there it is.  Just like the fairy tale it came from, what is wished for too becomes a part of that fairy tale.

And when it’s not there, it brings forth a bit of sadness because I had already imagined what I would be doing with whatever I had just wished for.  I’ll admit though that there is a bit of excitement or fun that goes along with it because of where I go when it’s wished for.  I’m not sure, though, that it’s worth the sadness of the reality.

Why do I do that to myself?  Sure, some wishes turn into goals, but very rarely I think.  Most likely that is why I’m having such a difficult time not smoking.  I find myself “wishing” I could quit.  I find myself “wishing” I could become a counselor.  I find myself “wishing’ I were out of debt.  I find myself wishing for things that ARE attainable.  BUT my mind is so accustomed to dismissing those wishes that it doesn’t take me seriously.

“What spurred this on,” you ask?

I stopped myself from responding to a tweet with an “I wish I could do that.”  I don’t know if I really, truly, WISHED I could do what I was about to say.  To say I wish I could do it was just an excuse for me to try and make myself feel better.  So I didn’t. I faced reality.

I was tweeting with @SteveGarufi tonight and he made a statement about riding his bike 95miles from Buena Vista to Colorado Springs.   I asked if he had ridden that far before and he said that he had.  One day last year he rode 128miles, and he sent me a link.  He had taken some pictures on his journey.  It wasn’t long though until I learned that this was only 1 day out of the 45 that it took him to bike across America.  When I learned that, WOW!  How awesome that must have been!  I can’t imagine the feeling of accomplishment that he must have had.  I wanted that feeling.  

He sent me the link to his site where he has pictures up of each day that he rode along with a description of the pictures.  He sent me a link to the map of his bike ride.  (I invite you to check out his site bikeacrossamerica.org. I’m still reading it and am just in awe.) 

I almost blurted out in response to his links and info, “Man, I wish I could do that.”  It was my minds way of giving me that feeling temporarily.  I fought it.  Instead I faced reality.  I told him how awesome it sounded but I wear out walking from the bed to the couch.  Reality.  

So does that mean that I’m planning a bike ride across America?  

Yeah.  I Wish.

Am I gonna stop wishing?

Man, I wish.

Because of HIM,

SC

Image via Wikipedia

We cannot learn without pain. – Aristotle

In a recent post, I told of some of the mishaps of my youth.  A broken nose.  A broken rib.  These mishaps were accidental, of course.  Lessons learned.  I did continue to play softball that year.  Even went to the state tournaments.  I only played with my head turned about 75% of the time.  I’m sure I climbed more trees after falling and breaking a rib.  I’m also sure that I didn’t use a highchair or anything to climb one.  I’m also guessing that I had no doubts about the state of the limb I was hanging on.  I bet everyone of them were very much alive.

What I didn’t tell you were the extremes I would go to in order to fit in with those that I needed to be a part of.  I don’t remember how old I was when the following happened.  I know it was well before the breaking of the nose.

My cousin used to live a couple of lots away from a small wooded area.  We knocked around in those woods so many times.  On many occasions we would be proving our strength to each other by knocking down 1″ diameter dead trees.  We were tough I tell ya!

On this particular day my family went to visit his family.  My cousin and I decided to take his brother’s BB gun to the woods to shoot…things.  It was one of those pump 10 times BB guns.  It was sweet!  I’m not sure, but I think our folks even allowed it.

We headed off in the direction of the woods and my cousin started telling me about this club he and some friends had started.  Well, I just had to become a member of this club.  It was very important for me to be a part of it.

I asked how I could be a part of it.  Well, the initiation to this club didn’t sound all that pleasant but he assured me that all of them had already done their initiation and were full fledged  members.  If I wanted to become a member, I would have to let him pump the BB gun 1 time and shoot me in the foot!  Or was it 5 times?  Shoot.  I can’t remember.  Really, I don’t think it matters.

Either way, it did sound bad, but not that bad.  Not bad enough for me to say no.  After much deliberation.  Much nervousness.  Much assurance from him that everything would be fine. It barely even stung, he said.  I had to be in this club.  I said ok.   Yeah.  I know, right?!?

So we stopped our journey.  Close to the woods and out  of sight from the folks.  He pumped the bazooka 1 time.  Aimed at my foot.

I closed my eyes.  I waited for the click.  The sting of the BB bouncing off my foot.  How bad was it going to hurt?  Doesn’t matter.   I gotta be tough.  No crying!

**PFFFTTT*

It felt like a tree landed on my foot.  Or maybe my ankle had stopped a small 18 wheeler in it’s tracks.  It did not sting, at all.  Nope.  It hurt like nobody’s business!

“OWWWW!”

I think that’s what I said.  Ow. Ow. Ow. I said as I was jumping around, on one foot mind you, trying not to cry.  The pain was excruciating.  He was helping by trying to make me laugh make me forget.  It didn’t work.

I looked down and sure enough, right there in my foot was a little red dot.  No, wait.  It was a little bright red spot.  A hole is more like it.  About the size of a bb right there in the top of my foot, where it bends.

Bleeding and hurting, I limped back to his house.  I don’t remember if I cried or not.  But it didn’t matter. I was now in the club.  Hobbled, but in the club.

Now we had to come up with something to tell the folks.  They can’t know about the club.  So, the only thing that made sense was what we told them.

We were hunting squirrels and I got shot in the foot.  Yep.  Genious!  It apparently worked.  But now there was the issue with a BB stuck in my foot.

Well, there is so much more to this story.  I’ll not bore you with it tonight.  Let’s just say it involves an ER visit.  Them taking the BB out.  The anesthesia wearing off before they got the BB out. The rest of the story involves a lot of pain.

Later in life my cousin told me that the club didn’t exist.  He didn’t get shot in the foot and he probably pumped the gun about 15 times.

It is a funny story later in life.  But as of late it has made me wonder, why?  Why was I so gullible?  Why would I let things like that happen to me?  All through my school years, I wanted to fit in about that bad.  Why?  How much of that type thinking brought me to my drinking thinking?

I don’t have the answers.  I’m still looking for them.  Probably will until the day that I go to my grave.  What’s my lesson to be learned from all of these thoughts?

Because of HIM

SC

“Hey! Scott! Over here! How are ya doin with those goal thingys?”

Hey! I’m glad you asked.  Just have a seat, a cup of joe (depending on what time it is..hmm..another post just hit me..) and let me tell you how I’ve been handling my emotions this week.  

I’ve been handling them like a stick of dynamite. Thanks for stopping in and asking.  Check back next week fo….

“Whoa!! Yeah, nice try buddy.  That ain’t gonna work.”

*sigh* O, awright.

I’ve actually had a very good week.  Both Monday and Thursday..er..today, were fine.  No big time blow ups that I can remember. 

Prayer Life

My prayer life is improving.  Before my feet hit the floor I have to say, “Whew! God! I’m an alcoholic and man, I thank you so much for not letting me drink yesterday.  Help me not drink today.  Use me any way you see fit (dangerous I know (I don’t tell him that part..I just think it (“like he can’t hear you dummy. what an idiot.” (HEY! YOU THERE! GET OUTTA MY THOUGHTS!)))).  Oh, and thanks for letting me wake up again.  I really enjoy that part of my day.”  I think God gets a kick out of that.  He has a sense of humor you know.  But that’s for another day.

Meditation

I’ve been trying to stop at some point during the day and just close my eyes and meditate while I’m at work.  Examine my breathing, what’s going on in my head, you know, just make sure everything is in check.  Checking my pressure valves and just doing a steady release if needed.  If something was really starting to get to me, I’d stop and for 10 seconds just think about if it’s gonna matter tomorrow.  Most of the time it didn’t, but that stopping helped ease it a bit even if it did seem like it would matter.

And just yesterday I put into practice another tradition that I picked up from Motivate Thyself – Taking Time To Breathe In Life.  Taking 5 minutes (precious time to most of us nowadays) to just stop, look and listen and see what I’ve been missing, being so busy these days.  I’ll spare repeating it and give the glory where it needs to be. Check it out sometime, just come back here when your done. 

Stress Related Articles

Read previous section.

Blogged

Yep, done at too.  This really really is quite possibly still the most exhilarating, freeing, fun thing I have done…ever!  

Took time at the end of the day to think about triggers

This I did, but not so much at the end of the day.  Trying to catch them before they become major issues.  Been doing a pretty good job at that, if I do say so myself.  Although, there was a small issue yesterday but it only lasted briefly and didn’t ruin my day.  I’ll not go into that here.  Just keeping myself honest.

Conclusion

You tell me?  Have you seen..er..read any growth?  I’m curious really.  I hope that you’ve set yourself some goals by now as well.  If you haven’t, why not?

Let me help you help yourself! <—-keep it or drop it? opinions. you ain’t gonna hurt me none whichever .

SC

• Issues of the Week
• Personal Goal – Managing Emotions Correctly – Update 1

by evelynishere

This week I read the article “Sink or Swim” over at Writer Dad and it really made me think about which I was doing at this point in my professional life.  I think I’m actually treading water right now.  My arms and legs are getting tired and wrinkled from the constant motion and being under water for so long.  Time and energy wasted.  I feel stuck in this one spot.  I do look around me from time to time to see where some of the other locations are that I could be or to see if I can find a way of getting out of here.  I see the possible beaches of my life, but I choose to stay in this one spot.  Treading, looking, wondering.  

It’s comfortable.  But I’m getting really tired.  

It’s for this reason, and that article motivating me, that I’m setting another goal this week.  I’m going to move forward with the crazy thought that I’ve had in my head of becoming a professional counselor.  

Presently

I’m 35 at the time of this writing.  Divorced.  Two kids every other week, for a week.  I’m probably like you in that I have a house payment, truck Payment, ex-wife payment ((grrrr!) ok you may not have that one) and the normal bills of life.  I presently have a job making really really good money for the area that I live.  Good money for a lot of areas around here actually.  I’m pretty sure that I couldn’t make the same amount as a counselor, but I don’t know that for sure.

Why

“So why are you changing?”, you ask.  Because I don’t think I am as happy doing what I am doing now as I could be doing what I want to do.  Happiness is not the amount of money that I am making, it’s how I feel inside.  I’m not expecting to make this change right away.  I’m going at this goal a little at a time. Here is what I have so far as far as a plan goes.

The Plan

1. Keep praying daily for guidance – Probably the most important of the steps that I will be taking.
2. Google Google Google
3. Research salaries
4. Read blogs created by other counselors – Hey, if you have one or know of one, please please let me know.
5. Speak to at least 3 practicing counselors
6. Pray
7. Look for certification programs or online programs where I can get a degree
8. Come up with the funding
9. Take the courses

Now, I know some of these are vague.  5,7,8, and 9 will or can be broken down when the time comes to start them.  I just wanted this out there so that there would be some accountability.

This Week

This week I am going to tackle 1, 2, and 4.  Why skip 3?  I guess I really want to make sure that counseling is something that I would enjoy, and not just one of those curiosities I get stuck in my head.  Of course, if I find that counselors are only making 10,000.00 a year, then maybe that won’t become a full-time profession, but a part time profession.  Remains to be seen.

I would love to hear your comments.  I would especially like to hear of suggestions.  Something I missed? Something you know that I don’t?  Just let me know.

Check back next week for a progress report.  

Let me help you help yourself!
SC

In last weeks post, Issues of the Week, I put the following out there for your viewing:

“because I want to use the Positive Public Pressure from Leo’s article to get me headed toward my ultimate goal, which is I’m going to figure out how to correctly deal with my emotions.”

It was a “big” goal that I hadn’t really broken down into steps.  Still haven’t written anything down to keep me on track or to see my progress, but I can feel it.

This week I’ve read several article relating to stress and stress/emotion management.  The next time I do so I’ll have to remember where they were so I can share them with you.  Sorry about that.

Here are some other things that I have done, particularly on those “extra stressful” days, that have, so far, kept me on a more comfortable track.

• Daily I prayed for self-awareness
• Meditated in the middle of the day
• Read stress related articles
• Blogged
• At the end of the day, tried to remember if there were any triggers or events that seemed to make things worse.  

I know it’s not much, but it’s working.  Besides, in the past, I’ve never had goals.  To have accomplished as little as I have already, it’s very motivating and exhilarating.

How are you doing with your goals?

Let me help you help yourself!

SC

Prev Goal Post – Issues of the Week

• Personal Goal – Managing Emotions – Update 2

Well, it certainly has been a Monday.  As I’ve stated in a previous article, Mondays and Thursdays are not good days for me emotionally.  Today didn’t let me down either.  I didn’t have to work today because of Columbus Day and all, and I still had a emotional/stressful (emotionally stressful) day.  

Work is apparently not the cause.  Must be life in general.  I think I’ve just about gotten the cause pinned down though.  I guess I will have to wait until Thursday or next Monday to really know for sure, I hope it’s that soon anyway.  It’s becoming quite a nuisance and a hindrance.

Even watching out for it as I was, it still managed to sneak up, grab me, and just wear me down both physically and emotionally.  Not a very good day off.  Right now though, I sure don’t want to go to the office tomorrow.

What’s that you say?  Worried about tomorrow already?  Seems so. Hmm.  Now what good is it really doing me to worry and stress over tomorrow, tonight?  Can anything be solved?  Is the stress of tomorrow going to automatically make tomorrow seem bad even before it is tomorrow?  What am I stressed about, tomorrow?  I think I know the answer to all of those questions actually.  

You know, I’m not worried about tomorrow now.  Interesting.  A big weight was just lifted from my shoulders as I was sitting here typing this.  Completely unplanned.  That, my friends, is awesome!  This leads me to believe that either writing down or questioning my stress, could resolve it.  

Awareness.

Meditation. (coming after I post this)

Motivation.

Got me past one of the stresses of the night.  And you know, I didn’t drink today either.  

Hope you have found something in this post that will help you in your time of emotional distress and stress.  Also, if you haven’t read the 40 + different views of stress over at Middle Zone, I highly recommend it.  I’m not even halfway through all of the different posts, and I have found tons of good information.

Another positive for me today was I actually shared my feelings and concerns that I had with my girlfriend about our relationship.  We talked for about an hour, and I shared, she shared and not sure where it will lead at this point, but I’m sure it did nothing but help.   One thing I do know is I feel much better having talked to her.  I held some “stuff” in for way to long, it built up and I exploded a little, ok a lot, on Saturday and I really shouldn’t have.  Not going to let that happen again.  

As always, I’m very interested in your comments and opinions.  Please drop a line won’t ya.

Let me help you help yourself!

SC