If you haven’t read Thursdays post Wonder How Many Think Like This or the comments, please do so before continuing.

I appreciate everyone’s thoughts and comments on that post.  It really made me do some serious thinking.  You guys schooled me so to speak.  I was having a difficult time with this.

I had a conversation today, on Google talk, about Thursdays post and I want to share part of that with you…

My Friend
My thoughts? different strokes for different folks…. you had to fall on your face
daddy had to fall on his face
sometimes people are hard headed and it takes what it takes. there were things that happened to you (and I’m sure others) to try to make them see
but noooooo they wouldn’t have it. they kept on and on and on
until….
they fell on their face. moral of the story…listen up the first time

I REPLIED
i guess, like i said in my comments, it was the casualness of the comment. Like, oh well…
you know?

They said
yeah…but they probably just meant it like scott…sometimes there’s nothing YOU can do. think back to your teachers…i hear as a very conversational point
just kind of like you know…this is the way it is…
just conversation

I REPLIED
I was taken aback.

Their reply
because your frame of mind was help help help help. and what you need to know is sometimes YOU can’t help
they have to fall or something. what i was saying and got lost was you were in that mind frame and then they came out with this and it stopped your train….and you didn’t know where to go from there

TO WHICH I REPLIED
but my train didn’t stop for too long. I’m still going to keep going.

Their reply
right

I just thought that was an interesting conversation that you might enjoy.

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…

-James 1:19

photo by OH SHOUT UP!!!

HEY again!  I’m glad you stopped by.  Want to hear another of my thoughts?  You do?  Well, good cause I got one for you.  Now, I’m not an expert on this, but I did sleep in a Holiday Inn last night (well, not really…it’s from the commercial. Have you seen it?…well that doesn’t matter….)  

Anyway, this was in the scripture that I used in the class that I taught this morning.  There are so many different paths I think one COULD take with this, but the reason that I brought it up is because I think heeding this advice could make everyone a little less on edge everyday.  

Turning on the Heat

So many times in a conversation, when the heat starts to build, we start turning off the other party and start planning our come back, our rebuttal.  We become defensive and the conversation goes from a two-way conversation with a human to a two-way conversation with ourselves.  Our thoughts cause us to seethe in anger.  Waiting for the other party to just “Shut up so I can get MY word in here.”   Often we miss the final thoughts from the other person because something has turned over the anger box and the little anger bugs start filling all the voids in our minds.  These “closing” remarks the other party makes might even resolve the issue that we started seething over, but we missed it.  I’m as guilty of this as the next person.  Though I’m trying, unsuccessfully the most of the time.

Listen Up..Count Up

So,  listen up.  Take a chill pill man..er woman!  Force yourself to listen.  I told the class this morning that counting to 10 does help, a lot.  It just depends on how you count.  I typically will be counting with my fists clinched, my teeth grinding not thinking about the counting.  I’m counting, yes, but at the same time, I’m still planning.  I’m just using the counting as a way to make myself feel OK for what I’m about to say or do, I guess.  Instead, try to focus on the numbers as they cross your mind.  Think about each one and soon your thoughts should become more calm.  

Is this going to help in every situation?  No.  I suppose sometimes we are just destined to be angry.  Maybe in those situations we should just leave the conversation, politely.  Tell the other person that we need to step back for a few minutes, but would love to continue the conversation as soon as possible.  Don’t just walk away from it, that will only make things worse for YOU.  

Conclusion

If I were going to summarize this section of verse, I would probably do so this way.  If you want to be less angry (slow to become angry) then you have to be more ready to listen (quick to listen) and less happy to speak (slow to speak).  

Scott’s Dummy Guide

Anger is only going to hurt the one who is angry, not the one the anger is pointed at.  The other party may soon forget the anger that you flung their way.  For you though, it’s going to stick with YOU a whole lot longer.  Unless something is done, you’re most likely going to be thinking about it 10 years down the road.  That’s not healthy. That is also fuel for more anger.  

This is a pretty elementary thought that probably the lot of you have figured out already.  I felt inspired to share that verse (and the rest of that chapter) with my class this morning, and I also felt inspired to share it with you.  

Did you need to hear it? 

Like anything else, don’t expect this to happen the first time you try it.  It’s going to require practice, patience and understanding.  I’m gonna be right there with ya, practicing cause I sure need it.  And if your an alcoholic, recovering or otherwise, it’s going to take even more practice because we are a selfish lot.  This “idea” doesn’t go along with our me me me tendencies.

Do you have something you would like to add?  Please share it.  Like I said, I’m not an expert and could use all the help an inspiration that you could. 

SC