photo by alicepopkorn

The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the strength within you that survives all the hurt. - Unknown

Hey there!  It’s Monday! Woo Hoo!  This week I’m going to start something a little different and see how it works out for me. I think I’m going to like it, a lot.  I hope it works for you as well and you too enjoy these days.

I’ve looked over the past few weeks worth of posts and it seems that Mondays are my “Spiritual Thoughts” day.  So.  Guess What?  Mondays are going to be my official weekly Spiritual Thoughts posts day (that seemed a bit redundant…oh well). Not that I don’t have these thoughts all week. I do.  Very strong, daily.

I’m not sure how long this ‘series’ will go, but I don’t have an end anywhere in sight so it could be forever.  And I’m quite OK with that. So, without further ado, let me start with this thought.  Why I think this is important and see if I can keep my thoughts steered toward those fighting an addiction.  Most likely there will be something for us all though.  If your offended by God or Christianity, WE are sorry.  Talk to me.

SELFISHNESS

Let me preface by saying, I’m trying to overcome this trait.

Personally, I am one selfish character.  I know that. A lot of my demons that I fight today make themselves known through selfishness.  If I want something, I am going to get it, or make everyone around me miserable; not too mention how miserable I will be IF I don’t get that thing that I want.  It’s a vicious cycle. Turns out, it usually works against those things that I want. I still struggle with that point daily.

Anyway, an addiction has a lot to do with this lovely demon, selfishness.  I had to get my alcohol to make myself happy regardless of what it did to others that I came in contact with.  Those “others” most likely didn’t have a clue why I did what I did, but I knew. I knew why I wasn’t going out. I knew why I had to get home before 9:00.  I knew why I didn’t want to see my folks.  Because I had to make myself happy regardless of who would be destroyed by the decision. And I’m sure some relationships were destroyed.  They will be made known to me.

I’ve said it before and I’ve heard it in the rooms.  An alcoholic is all about self-will run riot.  We can, and will, do whatever we want without the help or thought of others.

THERE IS SOMEONE GREATER

Step 2 from the AA 12 step program: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

“Woe, now Scott….!”

I hear ya.  For someone with an addiction to say that there is something better, greater.  Man.  It is tough.  I feel it’s a necessity to be able to fight off the demons in your life and to get you over the fence and into the light.

They don’t specify God in the AA program.  Just a higher power.  That works for a lot of addicts.  You would be surprised what some higher powers are to some folks, and there is not a thing wrong with that I don’t think. Anything to fight off this addiction and get back a life is worth it.

This idea worked for me for a short while, until I realized that my Higher Power was indeed God.  Always will be.  Used to be myself or Bud Light, but that didn’t get me very far.  It’s the main reason that I stopped attending the AA meetings.  I just couldn’t sit there and hear folks mention that their Higher Power helped them with this or that situation.  I suppose that in itself was a bit of selfishness, but I must draw the line somewhere.

YOU MEAN THAT’S IT

It really is harder than it sounds.  I promise you though, once that connection is made, your life will do a complete 180 and you end up like me…um…that might be bad though…eh.  What I meant was, happy to wake up everyday, getting down on your knees (very humbling!) and thanking God for getting you through the night.  Thanking God for not letting yourself drink the day before.  Asking God to help you not drink this next second.  It truly is wonderful to have him around.  I can’t describe it really.

He is my best friend and my guide.

Because of Him

SC